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Twenty years ago witnessed an insurgence of "Hebrew Roots teachers" who began promoting polygamy, aka polygny as a moral way of life. I don't say "Biblical", because it is true that the Bible records instances of polygamy (one man having more than one wife). However, rather than this meaning Yahweh condones such a lifestyle, it means our Creator in his infinite wisdom provided us an uncensored accounting of humanities sinful nature for the specific purpose of our learning from Israel's past mistakes.
To that end, just because it's recorded in the Bible doesn't mean the Bible equates it as a Biblical lifestyle. Nor does the fact that there may not be a specific punishment prescribed for every single possible sin, mean that it is not still sinful behavior.
Recently some men are again suggesting that holding men to the same standards of fidelity as women is somehow slavery or bondage, and that by championing something called "polygny" where men can have multiple sexual partners, but women can't, they purport to be able to free the men in the Hebrew Roots movement from un-Biblical system of bondage. It actually might be laughable if they weren't so sincere in their dogma, to the point of claiming that plural wives are in fact what "Biblical marriage" entails, or that monogamy is a "Greco-Roman concept", which incidentally is entirely false. While Roman culture did limit marriage as occurring only between one man and one woman, prostitution, extra-marital affairs, and homosexual acts for both partners were broadly considered to be socially acceptable and endorsed as a normal way of life. This goes to demonstrate the deceptive tactics which those supporting polygamy use, in order to lead otherwise sincere men and women into abandoning the sanctity of marriage as established in the Hebrew Scriptures.
Consequently, we have chosen to reprint this article which was originally titled "Official Stance on Betrothal and Monogamous Marriage". This article will not answer all questions about how to apply the Biblical standard in a society filled with broken marriages ending in divorce, any more than it could answer all questions about how to apply the Biblical standard in a country where polygamy is still openly practiced. Clearly we do not suggest that a man with plural wives in a country where such was accepted ought to divorce or kill all but one of them, nor do we suggest that a couple who was divorced and remarried before coming to faith should file for divorce and return to their previous spouse as some have suggested be done. But this will attempt to outline what the Biblical standard is, and applying common sense and discretion will allow us to seek the Spirit's guidance and direction as to how the standards of holiness are best applied in a society which has lost their anchor and abandoned what marriage is all about. I attempt to reply on Scripture in this article, while keeping my commentary to a minimum, and it is here reprinted using one of the terms polygamists love to use, as:
Real Biblical Marriage: A Covenant of Life
This article sets for a position wherein Marriage, as instituted by Yahweh in Eden, and defined by the Hebrew Scriptures, consists of a commitment to faith and physical fidelity between a single man and woman for their
entire life, and where Betrothal describes a preliminary "non-intimate
relationship" between the same two who are committed to marriage, having sought
parental guidance or other appropriate counsel, and who, unless widowed or violated, have retained
their virginity (Lev 21:7,13; Ezek 44:22,23; Rev
14:4).
A betrothal may only be terminated with the unoffending party free
to marry another on account of prior intimacy with an illegitimate partner. This standard is deducted from a literal reading of
Matt 1:18-20; 5:31; Deut 22:13-21.
The context for
betrothal is something Yahweh illustrates through his love-relationship with
Israel, and provides a pure and historically proven means of courtship established
on a promise of fidelity (Hos 2:19,20) which creates
a lasting foundation of nuptial love and reciprocal trust.
Within the context of marriage, "whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, a woman who divorces her husband and marries another commits adultery against him" (Mark 10:11,12) "and everyone marrying her who is put away from her husband commits adultery" (Lk 16:18)."And when a man has taken a wife...and find in her an issue of unchastity...and write her a certificate of "putting away"... If when she departs she becomes another man's... then her former husband which sent her away may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is an abomination before Yahweh, and you shall not cause the land to sin which Yahweh your Elohim gives you for an inheritance." (Deut 24:1-4) "But if her husband be dead, she is loosed from that (aspect of) Torah so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man." (Rom 7:3b) "The wife is bound by the Torah as long as her husband lives, but if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in Yahweh" (1 Cor 7:39) Therefore "Let not the wife depart from her husband, and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband divorce his wife (1 Cor 7:10)
Although temporary concessions were made and judgments enacted for men with multiple wives (Deut 21:10-17), as even for fathers selling their daughters (Ex 21:7-11) or males owning concubines or female servants - unarguably a form of sexual slavery to gratify their deviate desires (Judges 19:24-30), it must also be clearly stated that:
"It is a faithful saying that if a man desires the eldership, he desires a good work. And an elder must be such that no blame can be found in him; and he must be the husband of one wife (not plural wives), with a vigilant mind and sober and reliable (in his behaviors), and affectionate to strangers, and instructive, and not a transgressor in regard to wine, and whose hand is not swift to strike; but he should be humble and not contentious, nor a lover of money; and one who guides well his own house and holds his children in subjection with all purity. For if he knows not how to guide his own house well, how can he guide the assembly of Elohim? (1 Timothy 3:1-5)
"If any be blameless, the husband of ONE WIFE (singular), having children (plural) who KEEP FAITH...for an elder must be BLAMELESS as the steward of Elohim; not self-willed...but sober, just, holy, temperate - holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught that he may be able by SOUND DOCTRINE both to exhort and to convince those teaching otherwise." (Titus 1:6-9)
"And on the twentieth day of
the ninth month, all the people were sitting in the square before the house of
Elohim, greatly distressed by the occasion and because of the rain. Then Ezra
the priest stood up and said to them, "You have been unfaithful; you have
married strange women, adding to Israel's guilt. Now make confession to
Yahweh, the Elohim of your fathers, and do his desire. Separate
yourselves from the peoples around you and from your strange wives." The whole
assembly responded with a loud voice: "You are right! We must do as you say. But
there are many people here and it is the rainy season; so we cannot stand
outside. Besides, this matter cannot be taken care of in a day or two, because
we have sinned greatly in this thing. Let our officials act for the whole
assembly. Then let everyone in our towns who has married a strange woman come at
a set time, along with the elders and judges of each town, until the fierce
anger of our Elohim in this matter is turned away from us... And they gave their
hand in pledge to put away their strange wives" (Ezra
10:9-14,19)
"Have we not
all one Father? Did not one Elohim create us? Why do we profane the
covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? Judah has
broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem:
Judah has desecrated the sanctuary YHWH loves, by MARRYING THE DAUGHTER
OF A FOREIGN GOD. As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may YHWH
cut him off from the tents of Jacob - even though he brings offerings to YHWH
Almighty.... You ask, "Why?" It is because YHWH is acting as the witness
between you and the WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH, because YOU HAVE BROKEN FAITH WITH
HER, THOUGH SHE IS YOUR PARTNER, THE WIFE OF YOUR MARRIAGE COVENANT. Has not
YHWH made you one? In flesh and spirit you are his. And why one? Because he was
seeking UNDEFILED SEED. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not
break faith with the wife of your youth." (Malachi 2:10-17)
"Discretion would guard you; understanding would watch over you, to deliver you from the evil way, from the man who speaks perversities, those who leave the paths of straightness to walk in the ways of darkness; who rejoice to do evil; they delight in the perversities of evil; whose paths are crooked, they are perverted in their ways; to deliver you from the strange woman, from the foreigner who flatters with her words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and has forgotten the covenant of her Elohim. (Prov 2:11-17)
"For the lips of a strange woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword" (Pr 5:3,4) "Do not desire her body in your heart, neither let her captivate you with her eyelids" (Pr 6:25) "Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your springs (semen) be scattered abroad as rivers of waters in the streets? Let them be only your own and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and REJOICE WITH THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH - a loving deer and a pleasant doe! LET HER BREASTS SATISFY YOU AT ALL TIMES and be CAPTIVATED BY HER LOVE ALWAYS. For why should you, my son, be captivated by a strange woman, and embrace the breasts of a stranger? (Prov 5:15-20)
"From the beginning Elohim made them "[one] male and [one] female". For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and those two shall become one flesh so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what Elohim has joined together, no one must separate." (Mark 10:6-9, cf. Gen 2:24)
Any other sexual companion (whether called a "wife", "concubine", "girlfriend", "fiance", etc. and whether engaging in actual intercourse or not, can neither physically nor Scripturally unite with a husband's first wife (Lev 20:13; 2 Tim 3:3; Rom 1:24-27; 1 Cor 6:9,10) and thereby divides the "one flesh" which Yahweh created when joining a man with the "wife of his youth" asunder. Additionally, according to Yahshua, any man who even looks at a woman other than his wife, with thoughts of a second female companion, sexual intentions, or physical desire, has already committed adultery against his wife in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)
"Concerning the things of which you wrote to me, it is praiseworthy for a man not to approach a woman. But, on account of sexual temptation, let each have his own wife and let a woman have her own husband." (1 Cor. 7:1-2)
The wording "his own" and "her own", derived in the Peshitta from the Aramaic word "khad", clearly refer to an exclusivity of sexual access between only husband and wife.
"And let the man render to his wife the kindness which is due; and so also the woman to her husband. The woman is not the sovereign over her body, but her husband: so also the man is not the sovereign over his body, but the wife. Therefore, deprive not one another, except when you both consent at the time you devote yourselves to fasting and prayer; and return again to the same disposition that Satan does not tempt you because of the passions of your body." (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
The fact that the wife is queen of her husband's physical body tacitly implies that she has direct say over what he physically does and doesn't do with it.
"It is fitting for men so to love their wives as (they do) their own bodies. For he that loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own body; but nourishes it and provides for it... For this reason, a man should leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife; and the two should be one flesh." (Ephesians 5:28-32)
Under the precedent Scripture provides, a man "clings to his wife" by keeping the covenant of his heart and eyes which he made the day he married her (Exodus 20:16), and not running around after others! Marriage, as instituted by Yahweh and enhanced by the gift of physical intimacy, is one of the Creator's courses in temperance and true spirituality and an earthly analogy of Yahweh's love-relationship with Israel - his only wife. "Hear this word that Yahweh has spoken against you, O children of Israel, against the whole family which I brought up from the land of Egypt saying, 'YOU ONLY HAVE I KNOWN OF ALL THE FAMILIES OF THE EARTH: therefore I will punish you for your iniquities.' (Amos 3:1,2) Adultery, polygamy, homosexuality, beastiality, and all other deviations from Yahweh's plan are focused on sensuality, perverted sexuality, and the attempt to feed mankind's sinful ego as he endeavors to set the rules.
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of Elohim? Be not deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes (men who mate with multiple women), nor homosexuals...will inherit the kingdom of Elohim. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body... YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor Elohim with your body. (1 Cor 6:9-10,18-20)
Defiant (un-turned / un-repented, or repeated) adultery, polygamy, homosexuality, etc. leaves no option other than "purging the evil from Israel" (Deut 13:5, 17:7,12) by disassociation and removal of that immoral individual from fellowship among the assembly of the Mashiyach (1 Cor 5:11-13, Rom 16:17, Titus 3:10,11). "Therefore put away from among yourselves that immoral person." (1 Cor 5:13)
Blessed are all who fear YHWH, who walk in His ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears YHWH. May YHWH bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, and may you live to see your children's children. (Psalm 128:1-6)
Postscript: This article was written by MattithYah Coover in the early 2000's when he was in his latter teens, before he was married, after he embarked on his own study of human sexuality using the Bible as his basis. He came to the conclusions herein, even while questioning whether there might be a way to justify polygny from the Bible, and he arrived at his conclusions without any external or female influence. MattithYah later married in 2006, following a short period of Biblical betrotahal. He is now 40, and he and his wife are still married and have eight children, who themselves have also endeavored to each keep themselves reserved for the husband or the wife which Yahweh has in waiting for them.
HALLELUYAH!